he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
