whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
