Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yo dont text me then not text me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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