dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Everything about him screamed your future.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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