I think i peed on brittanys purse
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
