ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
