is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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