I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
