dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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