I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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