I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
