There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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