I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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