were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
