you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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