Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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