well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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