new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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