the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just took my morning after pill in the library
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
