How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
