Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
