He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
