new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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