If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
whose parrot is this?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
