i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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