I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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