Please, let me fuck your mom
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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