Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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