Already got asked if we're dating
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
