I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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