I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And then he peed in my hair
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