Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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