I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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