you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
