She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
