do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize