I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
