wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
