Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
