yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
