Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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