I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
