No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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