halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
