Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
how do you play pong handcuffed?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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