I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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