im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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