I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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