I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
