carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
