Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize