Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
