my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
