my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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