Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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