Your tits are I can't wait for
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
