im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
