I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
