physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
