Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
