Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
