Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize